Yourself...

"What is it that you wanted to learn from teachings and teachers, and although they tought you much, what was it they could not teach you? And he thought: It was the Self, the character and nature of which I wished to learn." (pg. 31) When I read this I started to think about life and learning, to reflect how it applies to everyone, everyday. Teachers can show you ways, meathods, or tools that will be useful to you in the future. Still they can never truly teach you about yourself, or what you can learn from yourself. You can learn how to do things your way, you can learn what you are good at, and what you like. All these things and many more are things that you learn alone, from yourself not from others. And even though the person that knows you the best is yourself, you will never know everything about yourself. This will allow you to learn and discover new things. You will constantly change, and every time you can learn more and different things.

"The reason why I do not know anything about myself, the reason why Siddhartha has remained alien and unknown to myself is due to one thing, to one single thing - I was afraid of myself, I was fleeing from myself. I was seeking Brahman, Atman, I wished to destroy myself, to get away from myself, inorder to find in the unknown innermost, the nucleus of all things, Atman, Life, The Devine, the Absolute. But by doing so, I lost myself on the way." (pg. 31) Siddhartha realized that he was searching to find the Devine through different paths that were not right for him. He was being a Samana, he was a Brahman, but the one thing he needed to be he was not being. He needed to be himself. By being all those other things he lost track of who he really was and that is why he had not found what he was searching for. I made a connection of this to an episode of one of my favorite TV shows, Charmed. This episode is called "Malice in Wonderland". In this episode one of the main characters does not know who she is anymore. She says that in the process of being and becoming a witch, a sister, a daughter, a wife, and a mother, she lost herself along the way. I think that it is very important to know who you are. When you lose yourself you also lose purpose and the things you do may stop making sense, because you don't know why you do them anymore. Also if you are all those things but not yourself as well, you will not be able to do any of the things you do right.

Differences

"May they all follow the teachings! May they reach their goal! It is not for me to judge another life. I must judge for myself." (pg. 28) Siddhartha realizes that not everyone finds what they want in the same way. This is something that I can relate to my life because over the years I have learned many things that could connect to it. One of them is that every person is different. We all have different qualities and defects. We all want to achieve different things in life, and our qualities allow us to achieve them in different ways. Our differences make us original and special. We cannot judge others because of this, we have to learn to respect them.

I have also learned that we have to be there for our friends when they make an important choice in their lives. We have to give them support. The friendship does not have to end, but we have to be there for them. Siddhartha was there for Govinda when he decided to stay with Buddha. He gave Govinda his blessing. Yet Siddhartha did not stay with him.  "You have my blessing, Govinda. I repeat it. May you travel this path to the end. May you find salvation!" (pg. 24)

Searching

While I was reading Siddhartha I started thinking about the similarities it had to The Alchimist. In this book Santiago leaves his sheep and everything he is used to, and goes in search of a treasure that he dreamed of. Also he is in search of his personal legend. Siddhartha leaves his home and his family, to go in search of peace and happiness.

Just like Siddhartha, Santiago learns a lot in the journey to find what he wants.
"'Now, I want to show the old man that I've learned something from him.' Positioning himself closely in front of the Samana, with a concentrated soul, he captured the old man's glance with his glances, deprived him of his power, made him mute, took away his free will, subdued him under his own will, commanded him, to do silently, whatever he demanded him to do. The old man became mute, his eyes became motionless, his will was
paralysed, his arms were hanging down; without power, he had fallen
victim to Siddhartha's spell. But Siddhartha's thoughts brought the
Samana under their control, he had to carry out, what they commanded.
And thus, the old man made several bows, performed gestures of blessing, spoke stammeringly a godly wish for a good journey. And the young men returned the bows with thanks, returned the wish, went on their way with salutations." (Pg 19)

I wonder if Siddartha will prove his asumptions wrong, and find what he is searching for with Buddha. "Siddhartha did not answer. He felt little curiosity for the teachings,he did not believe that they would teach him anything new, but he had, just as Govinda had, heard the contents of this Buddha's teachings
again and again, though these reports only represented second- or third-hand information." (Pg 22) Or will Siddhartha be stubborn and not listen to Buddha's teachings?How will Buddha teach his knowledge? Will it all meet Siddhartha's and Govinda's expectations?

At Peace

At the beginning of the book the narrator tells us that Siddhartha is not happy and satisfied with his life. "...and the vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace, his heart was not still. The ablutions were good, but they were water; They did not wash sins away, they did not relieve the distressed heart." The narrator explains that since Siddhartha's thirst for knowledge doesn't cease he is never completely calm and at peace. I can personally relate to this. Even though I am happy with my life and the way I am living it, I do not feel completely calm most of the time. Most of the time I am doing something, weather it is homework, drawing, writing, playing guitar, reading or other things. I really love learning and am not satisfied with just the minimum, I try to go the extra mile whenever I can.

I believe that when we reach full happiness we reach peace as well. To be completely happy we need to be at peace with ourselves and others. Also we have to let go of hatred, envy and resentment and any other feelings that do not allow us to be calm. So when we reach peace we also reach happiness, or backwards.

Until now, I am really liking the book but I have a couple of questions. I wonder if Govinda is going to keep following Siddhartha? When will Siddhartha be satisfied? What will satisfy him? Will it reach Govinda's expectations as well? Will Siddhartha go back home at some point and teach his father what he has learned, or what he will learn?